American Idle, B.O. and more…

Good Morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!It’s been a while…So much so that you not only have my blog but my lil sis has decided to add to it as well…Let’s get to it…

If I had a record deal HYGIENE would be #1…I am sorry I love the song (Can’t Help But Wait), love the style but I do NOT love the B.O. That’s right the force is strong with this one…I personally had the pleasure of meeting him and the pleasure was taken all back when he hugged me….UGH why are stars the most unkept people?

Why Oh WHY Deny?
Can someone please tell me why Chris Brown and Rihanna are playing the denial game…No one cares if you are together or not…
At the Nickelodeon awards Chris Brown was quoted saying, “We are not in a relationship or anything.” That my friends is code for, “We get it on once in while.” No one is hating you for that…Of course in reality someone would be yelling it from the top of the roof with a bullhorn that they were messin with Rihanna, including me (DAMN she’s hot!). I mean damn, they have the same star tattoos…Coincidence…I think not. They were spotted VERY recently in a Pars night club snuggling it uprihanna-chris-brown-snuggling.jpg
Here’s what I bet really happened….Mr. CB was totally feeling her like wifey material feeling her and she was like I am young and wild hearts run free, we can continue doing what we do but that’s where it stays …I CANNNOT BE TIED DOWN…CB got his heart broken and now he is acting very nonchalant. BAMN reality slap…

In real people news…The Vatican is naming NEW SINS to keep up with the times…Is being gay still on there? Thou shall not pollute the earth…Click the link and read on…How about thou will no longer blur the lines of seperation between Church and State…

OH AND GOOOOOOOOOOOO BARAK!!!!! Why? Cause I said so.

Back to dreamworld…

Britney Spears was offered a receptionist job by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). After seeing her on the sitcom, How I Met You Mother, the president of PETA extended the offer to her because she has worn fur and bought animals from pet stores….REALLY??? I mean she can’t take care of herself, her kids and I haven’t seen her carrying around the puppy she bought…Is PETA on crack..I don’t know who is dumber Britney or PETA for thinking that TV reflects real life…Do you really think the girl can answer phones, set up appointments, keep an office in order? Granted if she accepts she won’t get paid but PETA will doante $1000 to her favorite charity. That’s nice and all but still…. JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL. The PETA BRITNEY WHEEL.

IDOL CHATTER by Reality Slap’s LIL SIS Ms. NoBitchassness (the views expressed by lil sis are not necessarily those expressed by all of reality slap…cause DAVID COOK IS WAAACK!)
Hola, Ladies and Gents!!! I know Im kinda late in the season to be bloggin about Idol but hey I’m gonna do it anyway!!!

Season 7 – Top 10
Im gonna start with my FAVE of FAVE…

The HOTTNESS that is David Cook!!!! First of all, Id like to comment on his other performances. I’m a big fan because he stays true to who he is; A ROCKER!!!! Im obsessed with the song “Hello” by Lionel Richie, so when David covered a amazing cover (which people are criticizing) I was blown away. He did it again with “Billy Jean” last night. This guy is a Rockstar with or without Idol! So stop the hating!!!! Just because some loser cover band originally did the arrangement and it couldn’t make it, doesn’t mean it was shot to shit!! Just means that David did it better!!! YOU GO BOY!!!

Next up we have my girl Fave…

Okay, STOP THE HATING!!! That’s for u D!!! I don’t know what it is about this chick but I really like her voice. Don’t get me wrong, since she’s been on the big stage she hasn’t been at her best. But its in there somewhere and Damn it I like her!!!! And apparently so does America!!! So keep on doing it girl!!! But try to pick songs that suit ur voice. Suggestions: “At last”

I think I’m gonna do boy girl boy girl!! Hehehehe – unfortunately I don’t like many of the boys!
Here we have Jason Castro – maybe it’s the Spanish last name I like. Or maybe it’s the way he holds that guitar, all sexy-like. NO WAIT… I had a revelation!!!!! THE DREADS!!!! That’s what does it for me!!! Hard not to love a guy with dirty hair!!! Ohh and his voice is what I’d call soothing. Too bad he’s not that great without his geetar!!! I say he makes it to the top 5!!

Next up we have Brooke White…
My boyfriend calls her “the Angel”. I agree that she has a very pure voice. I love that fact that she plays the piano as well as the guitar. The never watching R rated movie thing kinda freaks me out. It’s a lil too holier-then-thou!! But did u notice she didn’t say anything about X rated!!!! Last nights performance was one of her weaker ones but I know she’ll be ok!!! Ohhh and Donalito things Simon wants to get in her white cotton granny panties!!!

I am soooo not a Hater, but this kid makes my skin crawl!
To set the record straight, the kid has a nice voice. Im gonna tell you my problem with this kid. First of all, and this is totally not his fault, he has a psycho stage dad that chooses all his songs for him which make him sound like he’s 40. The guy was such a nightmare they banned him from the set of Star Search and put up a picture to make sure security didn’t let him in. That brings me to my second issue. I thought this show was for “undiscovered talent”. He was on Star Search PEOPLE! He had his chance and lost. Maybe Daddy should’ve put his $$ where his mouth is a pimped him out to record labels like the Simpson family!!

Speaking of lost chances….
Again, she could sing. Hence, the record deal and millions of $$ they spent on her debut album!!! GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A CHANCE!!!! U HAD URS!!!! And honestly its unfair that she worked on the label that Randy Jackson was the top A&R for at the time. He totally remembered her and that’s how she got into the competition. How convenient!!!

Syesha Mercado…
She def rocked last night!!! I thought it was her best performance thus far!!! But if u think she looks familiar…ur right!! She was on a ford commercial that had regular runs on TV and some other stuff. Actress turned singer. Everyone knows what happens with that. Ex. Lindsay Lohan

Here’s another one who finally picked the right song…
Michael Johns! I don’t really have much to say about this one except he usually sucks. The BF made a good comment about this one. He should sing that song by that Australian band – “I came from the land down under” lol!!!

OK Now for the venting!!!!!

My neezy, Chikezie, for sheezy was eliminated.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BENDITO!!!!!!! I had love for this boy!!!

This is who should have went home…

Kristy Lee Cook. She’s terrible!! People like her for her looks and bc she had to sell her poor horse to get here. Boo hoo!! Now ur horseless and suck!! Loser!! Hope to see you go next week!! And WTF is she wearing??????????????????????????????

Well until then I hope all u Idol fans agree with my choices. If not I don’t really care!! TTFN!!!

Ms. NoBitchassness


Danity Kane “Welcome to the Dollhouse”

Alrighty…So we went through the whole process of making this album with them on MTB4. First and foremost the girls got their way as far as having mostly upbeat songs…and they are very proud of the 6 they had a hand in writing…I guess that’s pretty cool…

On the track “Bad Girl” ft Missy…The girls sing “when the red light goes on I transform” and that seems to be the running theme of this album…sex sex sex did I mention sex? On the standout single, Damaged, the girls vocal growth is shown. Striptease gives us more of the sex laden breathiness and light harmonies that pretty much comprise the whole album. Pretty Boy has to grow on you but once it does it definitely is one of the more creative tracks. LIGHTS OUT may be one of my favorites as well as SUCKA FOR LOVE, although it melodically it doesn’t go far the lyrics and concept makes it quite a beautiful love song…Ecstacy is the ride or die track ft. Rick Ross (which I could do without) and 2 OF YOU just doesn’t make lyrical sense to me at all. The last half of the album which contains the more slow to mid tempo tracks are a bit all over the place. POETRY is a good attempt at a power ballad throwing in some rock elements alebit a bit whiny. IS ANYBODY LISTENING well by the end of the album if ANYONE is listening it would be a surprise. My favorite tracks are the interludes written by the ladies that says something, right?…on a scale of 1-10, ten being best I would give it a 7. Worthy enough to buy.


Thanks for checking us out today…Come back next week for more news in REALITYSLAP!!!!

ALERT! The Golden Babies have arrived…J-LO delivers

No not another album (THANK GOD!) but 2 beautiful babies a little after midnight on February 22, 2008. In a penthouse section of a Long Island hospital that I will not disclose (because unlike the rest I respect people just a bit more!). Apparently it’s like a 4 fire alarm (called code pink, how mission impossible) in that hospital and it is locked down like a virgin in chastity belt in medieval times. Miss Lock (which is the name she signed in with…Heather Lock that is LOL might as well just add LEAR to the end of that and throw everyone of track).

Names have not been disclosed yet but they are under Baby Lock 1 and Baby Lock 2. The girl was born first (what do you expect from this Leo mom?) and 25 minutes later the boy came out singing like his father waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! It was all done through C-Section (I wouldn’t want to mess the one true platinium thing I got either). That’s right TWINS, a boy and a girl. Marc was there and it goes without saying, my source tells me that he was what every man should be when his woman is having his baby, calm, helpful, supportive, protective and alert. That man may look scrawny but apparently his muscle is where it should be, in his pants…2 doctors were there to deliver, Dr. Sadaty and Dr. Rifkin. The names of babies are not disclosed to anyone but they are reportedly beautiful and healthy.

As if they don’t already have millions just from being born, J-Lo reportedly wants 2-4 million in exchange for pictured of the babies from whatever  mag will do it…I guess if all my other ventures were less fruitful than they used to be I’d try to keep my empire afloat too! SLAP!

 I wish Mr. and Mrs. Anthony nothing but the best…

And so it begins…

Click, click, click…That’s all I hear as I peruse the vast and hypnotizing world wide web. Then it hit me. I can write just as well if not better than the Perez Hilton’s and what’s his Dlisted face of the world…Why not keep people in touch with the latest trends, scandals, music (or lack of it, trust me I work at a very big label, I know the deal) and just misdealings and wrong turns on this path we call life by celebrities, wannabees and regular people like you and me.

Thus, REALITY SLAP©, was born.

I am not here to judge…afterall I am no angel (and every weekend I realize it a little more ;P)

BUT I am here as the title says to Slap a fool into Reality…Someone has to be honest and I vote myself into that office. Be on the look out for the first official blog out next week. Until then, don’t be afraid to give that person a…